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When Normal Isn't Normal Anymore

At this month’s support group meeting (August 2019) I read the article When Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore written by Clara Hinton. She explains how nothing in her life felt normal after the death of her adult son. A morning cup of coffee, a trip to the bank or grocery store felt different.

“This is what happens when our world has been shaken to the core and turned upside down by the worst trauma we will ever experience–the death of a child.” I know this feeling very well and I know you do too. I long for my life to feel normal again, yet I know this will never happen.

I have read about a “new normal” though I haven’t experienced it yet. It has been four years since I lost my daughter; I continue to search for some form of normalcy.

In her article Clara tells us our struggles are real, “The struggle to find a purpose in life is real. The feeling of loneliness and despair are real. The fact that nothing at all makes any sense following the death of a child is real.” Of course, we know our children and those who love us do not want us to suffer. For this reason we must find a way to help ourselves.

Clara found three things that helped her. They are as follows:

1. Seek hope. Read all you can about hope.

2. Reach out to others. You can email Clara at

3. Never give up. It may take many years to find a new normal.

What are your thoughts on finding a new normal after the loss of your child? Please share by posting a comment to this blog.

Janice Steele

The fact that nothing at all makes any sense following the death of a child is real.

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